Dear Vodka and Oceana

Hello everyone, hope you had a lovely day whatever you did!

Literally hasn’t stopped raining today in the UK, which is so annoying you just get drenched and you smell like pond, it really is not nice. They say we are in drought, but now everything is swimming in water. Sort it out.

I am sitting here right now very hungover from the night before struggling to eat, drink and even stay alive without feeling like death.. I have gone hours without being sick so I guess I am getting better.

All started last night with a few beers at my house and a few shots and then it was time to leave, got on a bus and met some guys who wanted us to get them in Oceana coz they were old, let’s be honest. We got them in and they brought us drinks to say thankyou, result. We had ‘champagne’ but it was more like piss and it smelt as bad as I did this morning. I don’t really remember much from there really, just know I spent about an hour talking to a Nigerian woman who sells things in the toilet and gave me a free lollipop, highlight. I also had about 10 drinks as it was dirt cheap last night obvs going to take advantage of that. Lost my friend and the boys we were with. Ended up in a toilet passing out at around half 12, a good record for me.

Got busted by some lesbian bouncers who took me to a medical room which is the hotspot of the club. Stayed in there for about an hour just being sick and a totally mess. Finally sobered up after shouting and abusing the staff and anyone who would text or call me, which weren’t many, I don’t blame them. To make things extra worse my battery was dead on my phone so it made everything 100 times more difficult. I did eventually bop on a bus with a good old high-vis jacket so everyone knew what a total mess I was, good times. Got on the stupid N87 for hopefully the last time and just feel asleep at the back of the bus until some guy woke me up as he was obviously was shocked by the state I was in so gave me his hoody and his gloves, don’t remember his name so I am going to call him Mohammed, I said my name was Casey and gave him a fake phone number coz I am bare hard which was something like 077788812345. Sorry if that is your number, but Mo is a really lovely guy he may even give you his hoody and gloves if you are lucky.

This is him:

After falling asleep and trying to stay alive for about an hour I finally got into central. The last stop came and I should of realised it was my cue to get off the bus as it was there for about 20 minutes, but I didn’t. I did ask him to drive me to Waterloo, but sadly he didn’t. It was raining again and I got soaking wet, but luckily Matt got me some tracksuits and a hoody so I was well happy. Was soaked by the time I got to his, I think it was around 4ish.. wasn’t really in the state to check the time. Had a little chat, really had a little shout with his sister and that before stomping up the stairs to go to bed.

Woke up in the morning feeling like death with makeup down my face, my hair covered in sick and all the rest of it and my stomach and head pounding constantly. I wanted to throw up every second and every breath was just an effort. I think I was still a little drunk in the morning coz I was laughing at nothing and stumbling everywhere..crazy girl. I managed to stay okay and be good for the rest of the day. Weakest Link, Countdown and Deal or No Deal was my hangover cure and a bit of toast.

Dunno how I managed to get from Matt’s to mine, but I eventually did. Was pissing down with rain YET FUCKING AGAIN and I was not really happy, plus it took double of my Oyster card coz it was peak times. I was looking quite normal for Hounslow, I would say a cross between a Chav and a Prostitute. I was wearing an adidas hoody and matching tracksuit bottoms (very co-ordinated) with pink shoes which clearly did not go with it. I looked like I just got the clothes out of a lost property box, no offence Matt.I did look like death and I swear I made a little kid cry… but oh well, that is normal for me.

Started to feel better as the minutes went past. Had some lovely fish and chip shop’s chips and some chocolate and coke (so healthly) and a dose of Only Fools and Horses coz my television is not working because I was not set for Digital.. gr8. On a plus I do smell like passionfruit and freshness instead of puke, vodka and pond water after bathing myself in blech and all the bath stuff I could find. Happy me.

Oh and another thing, Vodka and Oceana. I don’t like you anymore. Our relationship has been on and off over the past few months, but this is the last straw. I have had enough of you treating me like this when I have respected you and been lovely to you from day one. You better think about your actions before you get back to me you pricks. Its not you, it is me, but it is more you. I think we should spilt up, I am sorry, look after yourself.

For now I am going to go to bed as I am knackered and hopefully I will be feeling better tomorrow,

Sweet dreams everyone,

A bientot X


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