In the last few months I have been preparing to move to another house and pack up memories, belongings and basically my life. The days have dragged on and some days have been a struggle, but it has come down to the last night before I have to give my keys back to the council.
I really don’t know how I feel about it, mixed of emotions. I feel happy. I feel sad. I feel angry. I feel hopeful. I feel scared. It is a weird kind of feeling, but all I know is that it is the best thing that has happened to me and my brother for a very long time.
As far as the new flat is concerned, it is quite a state. I mean to be fair, the garden is a lovely size and the bathroom and the kitchen was decorated a few weeks ago, so that was a bonus. The rest of the rooms do need a lot of work and paint. I am looking forward to seeing it transform, that is for sure. It is amazing how a few coats of paint, a few pictures and a plant can make a room look amazing. I will certainly keep you posted in the near future, featuring photos, of course.
The old house, well that is in a bigger state. There is still a few more hours work tomorrow to clear everything out and that is it. Last look round, last stair walk, last check to see if all the windows and doors are shut and then take a short walk to the front door and then closing it for the last time. Things that I took for granted I will certainly not tomorrow, will take me a while to actually leave the house for good.
I started shopping today for the new house, I started buying stuff for the kitchen. After not using my old kitchen for a good few months properly I am looking forward to cooking and cleaning and just being a woman in her castle (the kitchen). It does feel more homely with a few little features on the worktop such as cups and glasses with coloured polka dots on them, my favourite.
As another day comes to a close I am sure not to fall asleep too quickly tonight as I look upon tomorrow as a hurdle. The place where I grew up and had a lovely upbringing with my beautiful mum and fantastic dad and had serveral happy and of course unhappy times, will all be a distant memory soon enough.
I know memories can be remade and get better, but not having two certain people in your new life to make new memories really is horrible.
I really wished they were here so it could be a proper family home.
Love you <3