When you get on a bus it is nice to get two seats for yourself just to relax and ‘enjoy’ the views and the journey. The last thing you want when you have had a shitty day is for some person to sit next to you, even worse, if they are drunk, smell or take up most of the seat, so you are pushed against the window. So baring this in mind and from my personal experience, I have put into practice some things that make people not sit next to me.
1) The bag trick
I know most people will not have a bag on them, which I get, even just an arm or a hand will do.. Just put your bag on the seat next to you and when people do see it, chances are they can’t be bothered to tell you to ‘move your bag.’ This doesn’t work always, as sometimes people just attempt to take a seat when your bag is there without saying anything, because obviously they can’t see my big bag next to me. Idiots.
2) Block out the world with headphones
Chances are you will listen to music on transport, I mean you kinda need something to block out the school children shouting like crazy on the bus or some gangster at the back of the bus playing ‘Bedrock.’ Even if you have no music or your phone has died, still put them in anyway. I mean no-one wants to do weird hand signals to get your attention to move up a seat for them. Only weird or drunk people do this anyways, which are normally found on night buses..
3) Pretend your asleep
I know it isn’t the most flattering look, but sometimes pretending your asleep will make people walk past, especially if you are dribbling, and also they don’t want to wake you from your dreams about ponies and puppies (aww.) If they do, then just casually rest your head on their shoulder and I’m sure they will be put off by you and move seats.
4) Catch a cold
For me, when people sneeze or cough next to me on a bus I feel like I’m dying straight away and their germs are invading my body. I know it will not be good in the long run, but just catch a cold, so when you are on a bus you can start sneezing and coughing and you get the space you need.
5) Eye contact
As soon as someone comes near you try and give them a look, could be anything, but something which will make them think they are a freak. Maybe a twitch or a wink would do.
Of course if someone is pregnant, old or a choongting then obviously the above doesn’t matter.