My reaction to Fifty Shades of Grey

Although I was slow at jumping on the Mr Grey hype in 2011, I certainly couldn’t wait when I heard it was being turned into a movie and the countdown begun six months previously, on my 21st birthday (what a treat… I thought). So for months, there has been two trailers and loads of pictures and clips from the film which has made the wait for the 13th February drag out even longer, but now after watching the film, Mr Grey can do one, as he will definitely not be seeing me now.

So as like many other women and men in the world I gave into the temptation and read Fifty shades of Grey a few years ago and it was the fastest book I had ever read and for that reason I was proud that it got me back into reading.. even if it was about about a man who wanted to get a girl, who was a virgin, into S&M… how romantic.

When reading books your imagination takes over and in the Fifty Shades of Grey series, I had a clear image of what Mr Grey and all the other characters looked like. So when the rumours about the film came out along with who was going to play Mr Grey started, I instantly knew it wasn’t going to live up to expectations and I was right. Actor, Jamie Dornan, got the part. I am not saying he isn’t good looking and he isn’t nice to look at, HE IS, but he has no chemistry and he isn’t as controlling and dominant as Mr Grey should be, and because of this reason I sometimes thought that when I was watching the film I was watching a paradoy as there was no sexual ambience in the air, just a few touches with a feather and a mop-like sex toy, which just made the whole scene so awkward and just a joke really. It was added by Lion King style background music (when Simba was born).. I was in tears.

For the girls, I have some further bad news, we do not see Christian fully naked, annoyingly as we see Anastasia’s breasts for about 95% of the time.. so boring. One other question, why does she never wear a bra!? So unrealistic. Oh and them jeans that she absolutely loves, which he wears in the red room, well they ain’t doing nothing for me. He looked like he just did a M.O.T on a car at the garage..

Anastasia, on the other hand, fitted the bill as I just wanted to slap her and tell her to stop asking so many questions. She couldn’t flirt for shiz and she got too excited, too quickly.. over nothing. The way she tried to tease him with her lip biting and by putting the Grey pencil near her mouth was just painful to watch.

The whole concept of the relationship he wants with Anastasia is still very confusing to me. In the book I thought the way he pursued her was quite romantic, (like who wouldn’t accept a beautiful car and a new laptop) but in the film he just seemed like this psycho stalker who was buying cables ties in the shop she worked in and then took her to his playroom (not even to play GTA) and then punished her and left her crying and later leaving. I mean the punishment I can’t get my head around and the film really made it more horrific than it should have been. The safe words ‘Red’ and ‘Yellow’  reminded me of the rainbow song which I learnt as an innocent child.. oh what lovely memories I now how with it.

The story really didn’t need any other characters, as most only had about two lines. I didn’t feel a connection with any of the characters like I did in the book and we didn’t even meet Ms Robinson (Elena) who is a vital character in the book and the reason why Mr Grey is so…so Grey. Also Grey’s housekeeper, Ms Jones: who is going to make all the pancakes now?

I am glad I have seen the film, but only because I can say how bad it is to people. S&M has never looked more unattractive. As Mr Grey said, it is definitely fifty shades of fucked up!

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