All I want for Christmas is you, Mum and Dad: Day eight

Four years ago today is when I lost my bestfriend, my dad. It is very difficult to get through and at times I find it hard to come to terms with it. Why does most people have their parents? Why I can’t I be the same?

It’s a fact of life that you die at the end, but I mean having both my parents die at such a young age is really unfortunate but also very frustrating. I do not understand why and what for? Some people say it was their time to go, or God needed them, but I needed them and their time wasn’t then, they had many years to go. So many other people out there who live bad lives still have their parents around, why? Life is so unfair.

Being so young I didn’t really get a chance to have a grown up conversation about life and the future. My dad always said he would decorate my place when I got it and that was something I looked forward to, but now it is just a dream I wish would come true. You know what is the most funny thing is, I feel so numb and it still feels like another person’s life four years down the line. Today is the day I feel most lost without them and a day that I wish never happened. Finding my dad that morning makes me physically sick and something which will never leave my brain.

So, how am I coping? I am just taking every step as it comes, every knock back, every heartbreak, every tear, I will embrace them as they will lead me to the next best thing. Getting through each day without no mum and dad is torture. I would love to be able to go to them for a hug or a chat, just little things, that I used to take for granted. I mean there is no point thinking about the ifs and the buts because it wouldn’t of made me who I am today, and most importantly where I am today.

My dad was literally my role idol, inspiration and just the best person to be around. Although we did have our fights and arguments, we was sharing jelly babies again in no time. He was my lifeline, my companion, my everything and he kept me so strong when I wanted to give up. He made me laugh, smile, safe and he taught me to be the best I could have been. I am so lost without my best friend and I just want him here to look at all the brilliant things I am doing and just be there for me.

For everyone, I want you to keep all your loved ones close and do positive things and make them feel loved everyday. You are so lucky to have them and make sure you look after them and cherish every moment you have with them while you can. I’m so jealous of each of you who have their two angels around them, you are so lucky.

Goodnight, daddy.

The hardest post I have ever written about the events of 8th December 2010. Thanks for your support x

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All I want for Christmas is you, Mum and Dad: Day five

So yesterday it was the start of the weekend which I know will be hard to get through. Every minute I will be thinking about the final moments I had with my best friend, I mean I did all I could, but I can’t help but think what I could have done to prevent it.. But maybe it was just meant to be at the time. The fact that he won’t be here with me for the rest of my life is a scary thought, I mean it’s been 4 years, and it seems like a lifetime already.

You know what the most saddest thing is about all of this, it doesn’t even feel like I had any parents, as I am so used to being without them. I don’t want to forget their faces, voices and memories, but sometimes I have to really really think about it, which frustrates me as what daughter/son has to do that. I wonder why it has happened to me and why everyone else can be happy and be with their families, which everyone deserves in this world. Sometimes the shock of it is very hard to come to terms with. Then when people talk about mum and dads and what funny things they have done this week or what annoying things they have done. I literally have nothing to say. Although I can say so many things about my memories and other things they did, but that is just it, they did. They no longer do anything and I feel I can’t engage in conversations as I don’t want people to feel awkward and I don’t want to get upset, but I mean, hopefully in time I can, but I mean I really want them to still be here.

Right now my mind is full of thoughts of the last hours I had with my dad. They aren’t really thoughts I like but around this time of year they are in my mind more than ever. I am glad that the last person he saw was me and I’m glad I was with him in his last moments. I won’t ever forget that day for the rest of my life and finding him so cold and so still. I never thought I would see the day.

This weekend seems to be a long one and my coping mechanism is to sleep through it as I don’t want to realise that the day my dad left me is coming at a fast rate. And if that isn’t enough I have my dads birthday and my mums anniversary in the space of two weeks, I am going to be so drained, but knowing that they are close will get me through. I am a fighter.

Until then I think I’ll just have a detox and be with my thoughts. I will look up at the skies and find the brightest stars and think of you and mummy. Sleep well.

All I want for Christmas is you, Mum and dad: Day four

This post is a little late as I really didn’t feel like writing last night as I got some terrible news yesterday which put me in such a bad mood.

Just want to say, the featured image is probably one of my favourite I ever took. I think this was one of the last photos I took of my Dad and this literally sums him up. He was funny, joyful and just a good person to be around. This was when he pretended to be a gangster as I told him you need to fit in when you walk the dog as we used to live in the ‘ghetto.’ He laughed, and this is the end result, him being a gangster.

As Michael Bublé said it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, so let’s be positive today. This post will be about my journey and how far I have come over the four years since I became an orphan at 17. I’m not going to lie to you and say that I cope, because most of the time I don’t. I think it is just a habit that I am used to and therefore it gets a little easier each day as you have learnt what you need to do to cope and used to it being the ‘norm.’

I would say 10% of each day I actually am normal, in the sense that it feels nothing has happened and things are all ok. This is normally when I see friends or I when I go away in different towns or on holiday. 40% of the time I am worrying about things which either haven’t even happened or flashbacks and the other fifty percent I am just getting on with and doing good things, like going to university. If you asked me a year ago I would say that 90% of my time was filled with worry and not doing anything and only 10% was doing good things. I never went out and I didn’t feel safe to go out. I felt like I would just bring every down and therefore it would be better for me to stay in bed. I felt like this until early this year to be honest. This has all changed. Right now, I feel like I’m in a good place and although things sometimes are not straight forward, but in life what is?! I have realised that it won’t bring me now and break me.

At the time I didn’t notice what I was doing and I thought it was the best option for me to deal with things, but it just made me worse. People around me started to loose motivation as I wouldn’t listen when they said I was the only person who could really change things. When people genuinely try and help you, you don’t appreciate or see it when you are so low. They are not to blame, I mean they tried and they did help in the end and I managed to change things for myself and here is where I am today, but my brain just had too much hold over me back then and I felt trapped and unable to do even basic daily tasks.

Here I am, four years later and although I still have days that I am in bed, they have become less of an occurrence. I have started to have a structure in my university life and in my personal life which I have embraced and not hid from, and I think this is the most important foundations to deal with my problems. I am able to talk more freely about what has happened without feeling scared about what other people think or react, which is key – you can’t just bottle it in like I did, it makes it harder. It’s hard to talk to people about something they have no idea about which is not their fault, but by talking to them they can learn to understand what it is about and be more beneficial for you. I’m not going to apologise for how my life is, I can’t control that, and I want to share my story as it’s unique and I want to tell people that you can get through difficult times in your life, just have hope and listen to those who are around you, because even though you don’t believe it, they love you and care about you more than you ever will realise.

Which brings me on to say, I have such a good support network, I mean I can’t thank everyone enough. People really underestimate how much each of you mean to me and I honestly could not of done any of this without you, maybe I could have, but your support allowed me to have more confidence in myself and able to believe that I can do this. Your support has made me feel that I am not alone and I can turn to you when I need help or advice. This journey would have been ten times more difficult without you all and I definitely wouldn’t be in the safe place I am today. I love you all so much and I am immensely grateful for your kindness, loyalty and just companionship.

This life event has taught me that there is good in all people and everyone should be cared about and loved and no one should be judged, as you don’t know what thoughts or experiences they have, and believe me one comment, one evil look, could really push them over the edge. Just be kind and good things will happen.

The worst day of the year is coming up and it has reached the 3 day countdown. My emotions and thoughts are all over the place right now, so please bare with me, and thanks again for just reading these posts and just showing an interest in this experience.

Have a nice day everyone!

All I want for Christmas is you, Mum and Dad

From yesterday’s blog, I told you that December is a hard month for me and I was thinking today and last night that instead of it affecting me I would embrace it. So for the next 25 days until Christmas day I will be sharing some thoughts and some of my favourite memories of my Mum and Dad, so it feels like they are still here with me.

So here are a list of things which made today successful:

  • I had my first proper exam of final year at University, and it went really well. Despite the fact that it’s now December, I remained positive and I stayed calm and did the best that I could have done.
  • Sleep is definitely not for the weak. I felt so refreshed this morning and it really makes a difference to my day. I am still up and productive and it is nearly midnight.
  • My essay is due two weeks today and instead of worrying about and putting it off for another day I decided to make a start to it and although it’s not a crisp and final draft, I have nearly 1,000 words.
  • Plans for the new move in January are in motion, so hopefully a moving date will be on the cards soon.

So today marks the countdown to the first anniversary on the calendar, which is my Dad’s anniversary. So to honour him I will share one of my favourite memories that I shared with him, which is difficult as there have been so many!

daddy one

I remember when this photo was taken. It was in the back garden at my old house and I think I just got a new phone so I was taking photos of us together. After I lost my mum, I literally took photos whenever I could – even if it was stupid ones of him watching television. This photo literally sums up him and our relationship. We were so close and we would be silly together, yes he was my Dad, but he literally was my best friend. He never used to smile in photographs, he always used to pull faces, just like this one. When I did get a smile out of him, it was a rare occurrence. One of my favourite memories with him was on his last father’s day we shared together. I cooked him dinner and I got him the biggest card I have ever brought anyone and he loved it. I baked him a cake that turned out to be a disaster, but he still ate it. I think it was my favourite as it was the last father’s day I celebrated with him. For me, the hardest thing is that I only have photos to look at. No more memories will be shared. I think on important days and special occasions it is a hundred times more difficult as I want him to celebrate with me and see his reactions to my achievements. Although he is not here he guides me through each day and I am grateful that he’s my Dad.

10 things to do when interviewing your celebrity crush

There is always someone in the media that you think is attractive and most people just leave it as that, but some take it to the extreme and devote their life knowing everything they need to know about them and dedicate hours and hours watching Youtube videos instead of revising. Totally not me.

So when I realised that McBusted were coming to town this week I leaped at the chance to write an article for my student paper. When I realised I would be interviewing Matt Willis for my student paper, I couldn’t help dreaming about him being my best friend and shopping in Primark together and sharing a happy meal on a beach.

I tried to keep cool when I was speaking to him, but at the back of my mind I was screaming and I wanted to propose to him on the phone.. sadly I didn’t. I was so happy that he was down to earth and funny. He made me realise that I didn’t waste my teenage years dancing around my room to the Year 3000 and kissing posters of him every five minutes. (half true)

Here are 10 things that I have learnt and will take with me when I do my next interview with my top bae, Zac Efron.

10) Do not cry and go cray cray. So there were many moments that I could have rambled on about how much this moment meant to me, but I just got on with it. At the end of the day when it comes down to it they want to marry a sane normal person not a girl who crys down the phone. Remember that!

9) Tell them who you are. I was so caught up about asking him about his day and his time massaging horny old women in a salon that I completely forgot to tell him who I was and what my purpose was. He definitely trusted me too much.

8) Be clear. “His name is Joanna.” So for some reason he thought I was a man, don’t know why, but he did. So be confident and clear and show them whose boss… boys love that. Or do what I did and just laugh.

7) Do not slag off /girlfriends/wifes/side chicks. Although you are not sleeping by their side each night, doesn’t make it right to be rude about their other halves. No one likes a jealous bitch.

6) Kill them with kindness. Make sure you tell them you are a fan. They like the fact that you are interested in them and not just some journalist who has no interest in them and can’t spell their name right. Although I do think I made the right decision by not telling him my e-mail is still busted_fan0005…

5) Don’t tell them your life story. Yes you see them on the TV, but they are still a stranger. Don’t tell them where you live or about your boyfriend’s small penis, they don’t want to know. Saying that..

4).. Do give them your Twitter.. or phone number. I would go with the first. I am a bit upset I didn’t give him my Twitter to follow me, but he did manage to find my article and re-tweet it. So I’m well in there..

3) Do not daydream. If you want to share your thoughts tell them, make sure you pay attention to what they say and that you have good responses and not just “Hmm.” “Yeah.” “Cool.”

2) Flirt. I’m not very good at this, so after 20 minutes talking I then said “Oh so I’m coming to see you at the tour next year, will I see you there?” Poor attempt. I’ll go back to the drawing board..

1) Laugh and enjoy it. I mean just treat them like one of your mates… just make sure you breath.

10 reasons why Eastenders IS MY LIFE

So every Wednesday when EastEnders is not on, my heart breaks inside. So when there is an hour episode one week, my heart literally rejoices. Although there are some characters who I wish would die already in a stereotypically sad Christmas day episode, I can honestly say that I probably would fit right in running the café or the Laundrette with Dot.

Here is my 10 reasons why I LOVE EastEnders, and why people should convert to it…

1) The theme tune and opening credits. There is nothing more joyous to my ears than when I hear the EastEnders theme tune. It is full of life and it is such a emotional piece. I love the camera angle rotating and zooming out on The Thames.. although it makes me dizzy. Every time I hear it I literally run to the television as I don’t want to miss a second. Proud to be a Londoner.

2) The extras. We all know that Tracey is behind the bar and Winston hovers around in the market. We all pray that one day their talents will pay off and they will get promoted to run the Queen Vic, but that day hasn’t come yet.. When they do get featured or say a few lines it is the best day ever! Go on babes you can do it! So proud of them.

3) Their lives are shitter than mine. It really makes me happy when they are having a bad day. The drama and commotion they all have over that sexy pants Phil Mitchell is just over the top.. Phil, mate. Have you seen Shirley lately? Complete dog. Woof.

4) Christmas specials. I don’t care about The Queen’s speech, and let’s be honest, who does. Christmas in Walford is a time of love, romance, and often death. I don’t think they ever have a good Christmas.. someone always dies on the square. Best one was when STACE and Ginger Max got found out.. cheeky.

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5) Bringing back old characters. When Kat and Alfie left it was so shit. When they ‘killed’ off Dirty Den it was shit. But they brought all three of them back, unfortunately Dirty Den was being a dirty animal on webcam so he got sacked from the show. Diddums.

6) Walford. I know it’s a set and is a made up town that has a café, train station, and houses, I do wish sometimes I could get on the district line and go to Walford tube station and live there.. preferably in the Queen Vic.

7) Sex appeal. I mean there is bundles of sexy actors who have been on there or still are in the show; Dennis Rickman, Alfie Moon, Dean Carter, Peter Beale, Patrick Trueman, Wellard the Dog, not forgetting, Dot Cotton.

dot-cotton

8) The live episodes. Without Jack Branning forgetting his lines and Max Branning forcing fingers down his throat trying to be sick LIVE on TV.. it is very emotional and a key moment in history. Seeing Walford LIVE as it happens is literally a moment I will never forget.

9) All the other soaps are shite. I don’t think Doctors are fun, I can’t understand Corrie’s accents and Emmerdale is in the middle of nowhere… Case dismissed.

10) Danny Dyer trying to be a family man. His banter is just too much, but I get scared that one day he is going to go crazy and nut someone..

10 things you think about when you are a hungover mess

I should have learnt by now that if you drink a lot you will get sick, and every time I don’t care.. until the next morning. Today, I am that hungover mess. From now I think I should stop kidding myself when I say “I’m just going for the one…”

Here are a few things that pretty much some up my thoughts of today and any other morning when I have had too many WKDs

10) Why has the sun come out and decided to bloody wake me up? MY EYES ARE BURNING.  Feel like I have only been asleep for 30 minutes when actually it has been hours.. go away sun. Can it be possible to be this tired..

9) What is that annoying noise? Am I imagining it? Gosh, some people are trying to sleep here. CAN PEOPLE STOP MAKING SO MANY BLOODY NOISES. I swear everything is just more annoying and loud… I better lock my door I don’t want to see or talk to anyone.

8) Can’t move and I need the toilet.. I’m going to be sick..every time I move it is disgusting. Maybe I should get up and risk it.. I can’t just be sick in the bed. Right I’m going for it…

7) Yes, I’m in the bathroom.. now it is a waiting game until I vom. Maybe I should eat, drink.. oh crap, here it comes.

6) OMG I have never seen someone in such a state, do I know who this person is looking back at me in the mirror? Oh yeah it’s me.. I’m going back to bed to cry.

5) I should have got food last night.. did I do anything stupid? OMG OMG OMG. What the hell was I thinking? By seeing loads of texts and calls I obviously need to explain myself and maybe hide for a year. Why is there a picture of a table on my phone? I WAS A STATE.

4) Why. Is. My. Mouth. So. Dry. I need water.. oh well done drunk Jo you actually got a glass of water for hungover Jo the night before, how thoughtful of you. Sip it don’t gulp it. My stomach feels like a washing machine..

3) Need to text and talk and evaluate the night with da bitchez.. maybe later. I hope they got home alright and didn’t pass out in a ditch. I can’t even move, let alone talk..

2) Oh god, WHY? Why did I do that.. why, why why. I want to erase last night from my memory.. better yet move to a different country.

1) I don’t care I want a McDonalds.. that’ll make everything better.. or a pizza? Maybe both.

My divine nine November favourites

Winter has definitely kicked off over the last few days reaching MINUS figures, so as the nights get darker, shorter and more freezing, it is only right to stay in and walk around in your onesie, which for your information is still NOT OKAY to wear in public. For me, this season is my favourite. Although the Christmas jumpers are appalling to look at, we all know that Nan is going put one in your stocking. It is the time where you wrap up in layers and layers and find you are still bloody cold, the time when everyone has to wear a gas mask as everyone has some type of coughing and sneezing fit and, for the me, the most important time as it’s.. HOT CHOCOLATE SEASON!

Novemeber favourites

I’m 100% not leaving my house, let alone my bed today, so I decided to share with you some of my favourite things that are essential to me this time of year. Enjoy!

Zara city bag (Zara, £49.99)
1) Zara city bag (Zara, £49.99)

I have wanted this bag for so long I can’t even explain. As I got a lovely sum from my friends at Student Finance I went to buy it. Although it would be handy for University, I didn’t care, I wanted that bag for me and only me. So far, I think it is about two months old, and it is going strong. There are four compartments and you can fit EVERYTHING in, very suitable for A4 folders. The main compartment doesn’t have a zip, so when it rains.. you are in trouble. Other than that I am in love.

 

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2) Eco-tool brushes (Boots, £11.99)

I was debating about these for a while as they are quite tiny, but the selection you get really is worth it. There is a concealer brush and blending brush, foundation brush, complexion blending brush and face brush.  The blending brushes are AMAZING, especially when I’m ill or have been on the piss the night before.. get success.

 

Garnier cleansing water (Superdrug, £5/6ish)
3) Garnier cleansing water (Superdrug, £5/6ish)

(The  bubbles aren’t included, I just shook it too much.) I have never used cleansing water before as I just thought it was water from the tap. My friend said I should buy it, so I did.. very easily influenced. As you don’t  have to rinse it off there is no wet and slippery floors for you. Probably my favourite product by far. When it is on sale it is only £3, take a look in Superdrug.

 

4) Palmer's Cocoa Butter (Superdrug, £4/5ish)
4) Palmer’s Cocoa Butter (Superdrug, £4/5ish)

I also got this on the sale, so it was only £3. If you are like me and your skin doesn’t do what it is told and flakes or just is bone dry, then this is a miracle. I’m sure you have all heard of this product so I will not ramble on, all I will say is it will stop your disgusting dry skin on your nose when you blow it.

 

5) Socks, pack of five (George by Asda, £4)
5) Pack of five socks (George by Asda, £4)

I think my washing machine eats my socks or someone comes in at night and steals my socks, because I ALWAYS loose them. I took a trip in Asda and I saw these cute socks with little animals on and they just reminded me off winter, foxes, badgers, owls, bears, it’s like having a zoo on your feet.

 

6) Bourjois bronze/highlighter combo (Boots, £7.99)
6) Bourjois bronze/highlighter combo (Boots, £7.99)

Not going to lie, I am a pale biyatch. I am sorting it. So, I thought I would invest in a bronzer. This shade of bronzer really compliments my skin and the highlighter really makes my face brighter and defines my cheek bones. Gone up to 1 on the tan scale, woo!

 

7) Summer Sunset nail polish (H&M, £2.99)
7) Summer Sunset nail polish (H&M, £2.99)

It is a bit ironic that we are in the total opposite season, but I really love wearing orange in the winter. Although it is a sad reminder of the warm and sunny rays of summer which have completely gone and will not return for another six months.

8) A locket (Gift)
8) A locket (Gift)

Any necklaces that have a long chain are my babies. Lockets are lovely to keep photos of people you love around your next, maybe it is a bit too close, but for me I think it is such a personal and sentimental gift that it had to make an appearance on the list. It will probably take me months, even years, to actually put photos in them, but if I keep it shut, no-one will ever know.

 

9) Gold earrings (Wallis, £3)
9) Gold earrings (Wallis, £3)

Being a LANDAN GYAL I love gold earrings. It always reminds me of Lily Allen and the ‘LDN’ video. Hoops and other heavy dangled-earrings tend to stretch my ears to the point of bleeding, so studs are the next best thing. It makes me feel rich as I have two ‘gold’ coins on my ears.

 

 

News this hour: The best week of my life in radio

So I am sad it is the weekend as it means I have to go back to reality and not sit in a studio recording bulletins and basically having a rocking and rolling time, if you pardon the pun.

There have been scary times, panic times, surreal times and picking wrong times to have a laughing fit times. I did things I thought I would never do, like saying the number three nonstop for 20 minutes. I do not think I have listened to my own voice more consciously in my whole 21 years.

Whilst sitting in Costa and having a hot chocolate as big as my fat head during lunch breaks I couldn’t really wait to get back in the office, but also wanted to act cool about it. There were times were I was grinning so much my face was hurting and others around me thought I was mental so I tried to stay cool and say ‘yeah this is cool.’ Although most of the experience I was a little scared or on edge on how my editor would act or say to anything I do, I did manage to share doughnuts with him and also make him laugh, even though if it was just the once…. Maybe it was at me after all.

Yesterday was my last day and I definitely went out with a bang to say the least. I used the studio and a reporter was in after me to report a LIVE bulletin, I turned the mic off as that’s what others have been doing and left the studio. I waited to go back in after the reporter so listened to the radio station as I waited. As the DJ handed over to the reporter, it went silent. I literally died. I thought I did something terribly wrong. During them 20 seconds I literally shat myself 100 times. Thank god it wasn’t my mistake and I walked out without any bruises.

All I can say this has been a learning curve for me and I couldn’t have asked for a better place, better people and a better time. Thanks to everyone there from ones that I shared a laugh with or just a brief hello and a smile, you made it life changing.

That’s all from me, I’m Jo Swan. Good evening.

Living the high life whilst eating doughnuts: my life at Radio Jackie

Hello all, so this week I am working at the wonderful radio Jackie! It is my local station, so of course, I am very happy to be on board!

On my first day I got there super early so I stole the wifi of M & S whilst pretending to be interested in their clothes, a lot which are for women of a mature manner, to say it lightly..

I decided to be brave and head over 10 minutes early, I was greeted by a lovely man, who offered me a tea or a coffee. I don’t drink either, so I asked for a water, which I think he was amused about. Ever since there is a constant round of drinks flowing in the news room, which is what is like in Oceana, expect of a more alcoholic kind.. I felt at home the moment when I walked through the door. The ambience is very homely and I was comfortable right away. Everyone just mingles together, and if I’m lucky like today, hand doughnuts to you, of course they have to be M&S!

In the first two hours I was in the studio recording news bulletins. Having a microphone in front of my fat face was quite scary to say the least, and hearing my voice back definitely would make anyone happy as larry. Snot nosed and heaving breathing really are the key elements to be successful in the business I think. I did get some voice coaching and after my second, okay fifth attempt, I actually was proud of the change in confident and projection, although this requires me shouting in a room with no one around…. Weirdo.

So far I have had stories approved by my editor and also some which would have been better in the bin, and I’m cool with both really, after crying in the loos in subway during my lunch break, I think I’ll be fine. One story has been on the radio show and another online so I couldn’t have asked for a better start really.

The past two days have been life changing for me, and I 100 percent know I would love a career in radio. Even if it’s just me talking to myself in a room with no listeners, I literally have never felt more positive and more determined to get into this sector or journalism.

Officially a third year student

HOWDY GANG!
It has been a while since I have shared some of my gossip so today is the night I get it on…. Ahh baby.

I have some candles around me, well two, and it has calmed me down a hell of a lot and also has motivated me. Hurrah! Let’s go.

So today I have finally got my results for my second year exams and I have passed…obviously I knew I would do..maybe… but I was actually quite scared I wouldn’t make it into the DREADED THIRD YEAR MWHHAHAHA! My results have scared me though as I definitely have to lay off the shots of tequila and actually knuckle down in order to be rolling with the 1st class club.
Other news…
I had my birthday!! No I didn’t spend my money, like will.i.am told me to, but you know what I did too much of, BLOODY DRINKING! I thought a bottle of processco would be nothing for the almighty 21 year old me, so I had it… The whole bottle. On the journey to London I managed to piss a lot of people off on the bus as I wanted people to party with me and all they wanted to do was go home bed… BORINGG, didn’t pay for my train journey as I was too gone by this point and ended up at Waterloo station being sick on the pavement, on me and then falling into my lovely, smelly sick. Fair play. To sum it all up, I would say it was unforgettable.

This is me with the dreaded proscesso:

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I then had to say bye bye to the bestest friend in the whole wide world as she goes to find some fit man in Madrid.. And also study and so well of course!

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I have now done a few shifts as a student ambassador it is pretty cool, I get to wear a hoodie, and be all gangster. I have met some really nice, new students which I hope get really drunk over freshers, but being safe of course, and had a lot of food!!!!

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Third year is starting in about two and a half weeks and I am pretty scared to say the least, but also happy to see the bunch of loons I call friends. Freshers week is hopefully going to be the norm of many sleepless nights and vomit on the streets of Kingston.

Ohh just got a special treat of a chocolate pudding delivery straight to my bed, magical… Dreams really do come true!

I also want to try my hand at a vlog, I am reaaaaaaly scared to actually upload any videos of my face as it normally looks grumpy. I have so many videos on my iPad that are just poor attempts of me trying to act smart.. Any advice or any bribes to upload these can be discussed!

Until then, laters! :)