As the sun was shinning in London yesterday I thought it was the perfect time to get a Ben and Jerrys, seeing as they are the only two fellas which give me pure satisfaction in my mouth… Of course the Ben and Jerrys was inside a subway, I mean that is normal. I’m waiting in the queue and the server is taking ages to scoop out Ice Cream, I wanted to help her, but I probably would just swim in the ice cream containers, If only that was possible. 5 minutes went by, and soon ten, and guess what? Still not getting my ice cream, so.. I waited patiently and soon I was next in the queue, result!
She then held up her fingers to show two minutes and then popped off. Firstly, I’m glad she didn’t give me ‘the two fingers’ in the other way as I would have put her head in a subway sandwich and fed it to rats, secondly, I thought she was just going to the bathroom, so I hoped she washes her hands after, or getting another colleague. But no. Next thing I see is her with her coat and bag leaving the shop, I thought it was a joke, but as soon as she got the bus, I knew that she isn’t coming back. I didn’t know what to do, so just stood their giving evils to the subway men and shouted ‘do you know what costumer service is? Well this definitely is poor.’ Clearly I am a ghost or they are deaf, better yet, they are gits, and just carried on serving 6inches to their costumers wondering why a sandwich is bigger than their own penis.
I was devastated as I left Ben and Jerry behind, but in the distance I saw the magic golden ‘M’ and instantly my tears went. Feeling on top of the world I walked into the shop and asked for a Mcflurry. ‘Sorry we have no ice cream.’ I was gonna have a break down and start shouting at her, but decided to go to the toilet and calm down. I thought this day couldn’t get worse, but the hand dryer wasn’t working so I had to shake my hands dry like some 5 year old. To top off this amazing experience a woman, who came out of nowhere, but probably came through the door obviously, just stood in front of the mirror.. Not moving, or smiling.. Quite possibly not breathing. I thought she was going to either kill me or jump through the mirror, but luckily she didn’t do anything.
I still needed a ice cream, so I had to get a magnum. I’m not saying they are crap, but I wanted a bloody Ben and Jerrys.
All over a stupid ice cream.