10 things to do when interviewing your celebrity crush

There is always someone in the media that you think is attractive and most people just leave it as that, but some take it to the extreme and devote their life knowing everything they need to know about them and dedicate hours and hours watching Youtube videos instead of revising. Totally not me.

So when I realised that McBusted were coming to town this week I leaped at the chance to write an article for my student paper. When I realised I would be interviewing Matt Willis for my student paper, I couldn’t help dreaming about him being my best friend and shopping in Primark together and sharing a happy meal on a beach.

I tried to keep cool when I was speaking to him, but at the back of my mind I was screaming and I wanted to propose to him on the phone.. sadly I didn’t. I was so happy that he was down to earth and funny. He made me realise that I didn’t waste my teenage years dancing around my room to the Year 3000 and kissing posters of him every five minutes. (half true)

Here are 10 things that I have learnt and will take with me when I do my next interview with my top bae, Zac Efron.

10) Do not cry and go cray cray. So there were many moments that I could have rambled on about how much this moment meant to me, but I just got on with it. At the end of the day when it comes down to it they want to marry a sane normal person not a girl who crys down the phone. Remember that!

9) Tell them who you are. I was so caught up about asking him about his day and his time massaging horny old women in a salon that I completely forgot to tell him who I was and what my purpose was. He definitely trusted me too much.

8) Be clear. “His name is Joanna.” So for some reason he thought I was a man, don’t know why, but he did. So be confident and clear and show them whose boss… boys love that. Or do what I did and just laugh.

7) Do not slag off /girlfriends/wifes/side chicks. Although you are not sleeping by their side each night, doesn’t make it right to be rude about their other halves. No one likes a jealous bitch.

6) Kill them with kindness. Make sure you tell them you are a fan. They like the fact that you are interested in them and not just some journalist who has no interest in them and can’t spell their name right. Although I do think I made the right decision by not telling him my e-mail is still busted_fan0005…

5) Don’t tell them your life story. Yes you see them on the TV, but they are still a stranger. Don’t tell them where you live or about your boyfriend’s small penis, they don’t want to know. Saying that..

4).. Do give them your Twitter.. or phone number. I would go with the first. I am a bit upset I didn’t give him my Twitter to follow me, but he did manage to find my article and re-tweet it. So I’m well in there..

3) Do not daydream. If you want to share your thoughts tell them, make sure you pay attention to what they say and that you have good responses and not just “Hmm.” “Yeah.” “Cool.”

2) Flirt. I’m not very good at this, so after 20 minutes talking I then said “Oh so I’m coming to see you at the tour next year, will I see you there?” Poor attempt. I’ll go back to the drawing board..

1) Laugh and enjoy it. I mean just treat them like one of your mates… just make sure you breath.

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10 things you think about when you are a hungover mess

I should have learnt by now that if you drink a lot you will get sick, and every time I don’t care.. until the next morning. Today, I am that hungover mess. From now I think I should stop kidding myself when I say “I’m just going for the one…”

Here are a few things that pretty much some up my thoughts of today and any other morning when I have had too many WKDs

10) Why has the sun come out and decided to bloody wake me up? MY EYES ARE BURNING.  Feel like I have only been asleep for 30 minutes when actually it has been hours.. go away sun. Can it be possible to be this tired..

9) What is that annoying noise? Am I imagining it? Gosh, some people are trying to sleep here. CAN PEOPLE STOP MAKING SO MANY BLOODY NOISES. I swear everything is just more annoying and loud… I better lock my door I don’t want to see or talk to anyone.

8) Can’t move and I need the toilet.. I’m going to be sick..every time I move it is disgusting. Maybe I should get up and risk it.. I can’t just be sick in the bed. Right I’m going for it…

7) Yes, I’m in the bathroom.. now it is a waiting game until I vom. Maybe I should eat, drink.. oh crap, here it comes.

6) OMG I have never seen someone in such a state, do I know who this person is looking back at me in the mirror? Oh yeah it’s me.. I’m going back to bed to cry.

5) I should have got food last night.. did I do anything stupid? OMG OMG OMG. What the hell was I thinking? By seeing loads of texts and calls I obviously need to explain myself and maybe hide for a year. Why is there a picture of a table on my phone? I WAS A STATE.

4) Why. Is. My. Mouth. So. Dry. I need water.. oh well done drunk Jo you actually got a glass of water for hungover Jo the night before, how thoughtful of you. Sip it don’t gulp it. My stomach feels like a washing machine..

3) Need to text and talk and evaluate the night with da bitchez.. maybe later. I hope they got home alright and didn’t pass out in a ditch. I can’t even move, let alone talk..

2) Oh god, WHY? Why did I do that.. why, why why. I want to erase last night from my memory.. better yet move to a different country.

1) I don’t care I want a McDonalds.. that’ll make everything better.. or a pizza? Maybe both.

News this hour: The best week of my life in radio

So I am sad it is the weekend as it means I have to go back to reality and not sit in a studio recording bulletins and basically having a rocking and rolling time, if you pardon the pun.

There have been scary times, panic times, surreal times and picking wrong times to have a laughing fit times. I did things I thought I would never do, like saying the number three nonstop for 20 minutes. I do not think I have listened to my own voice more consciously in my whole 21 years.

Whilst sitting in Costa and having a hot chocolate as big as my fat head during lunch breaks I couldn’t really wait to get back in the office, but also wanted to act cool about it. There were times were I was grinning so much my face was hurting and others around me thought I was mental so I tried to stay cool and say ‘yeah this is cool.’ Although most of the experience I was a little scared or on edge on how my editor would act or say to anything I do, I did manage to share doughnuts with him and also make him laugh, even though if it was just the once…. Maybe it was at me after all.

Yesterday was my last day and I definitely went out with a bang to say the least. I used the studio and a reporter was in after me to report a LIVE bulletin, I turned the mic off as that’s what others have been doing and left the studio. I waited to go back in after the reporter so listened to the radio station as I waited. As the DJ handed over to the reporter, it went silent. I literally died. I thought I did something terribly wrong. During them 20 seconds I literally shat myself 100 times. Thank god it wasn’t my mistake and I walked out without any bruises.

All I can say this has been a learning curve for me and I couldn’t have asked for a better place, better people and a better time. Thanks to everyone there from ones that I shared a laugh with or just a brief hello and a smile, you made it life changing.

That’s all from me, I’m Jo Swan. Good evening.

Living the high life whilst eating doughnuts: my life at Radio Jackie

Hello all, so this week I am working at the wonderful radio Jackie! It is my local station, so of course, I am very happy to be on board!

On my first day I got there super early so I stole the wifi of M & S whilst pretending to be interested in their clothes, a lot which are for women of a mature manner, to say it lightly..

I decided to be brave and head over 10 minutes early, I was greeted by a lovely man, who offered me a tea or a coffee. I don’t drink either, so I asked for a water, which I think he was amused about. Ever since there is a constant round of drinks flowing in the news room, which is what is like in Oceana, expect of a more alcoholic kind.. I felt at home the moment when I walked through the door. The ambience is very homely and I was comfortable right away. Everyone just mingles together, and if I’m lucky like today, hand doughnuts to you, of course they have to be M&S!

In the first two hours I was in the studio recording news bulletins. Having a microphone in front of my fat face was quite scary to say the least, and hearing my voice back definitely would make anyone happy as larry. Snot nosed and heaving breathing really are the key elements to be successful in the business I think. I did get some voice coaching and after my second, okay fifth attempt, I actually was proud of the change in confident and projection, although this requires me shouting in a room with no one around…. Weirdo.

So far I have had stories approved by my editor and also some which would have been better in the bin, and I’m cool with both really, after crying in the loos in subway during my lunch break, I think I’ll be fine. One story has been on the radio show and another online so I couldn’t have asked for a better start really.

The past two days have been life changing for me, and I 100 percent know I would love a career in radio. Even if it’s just me talking to myself in a room with no listeners, I literally have never felt more positive and more determined to get into this sector or journalism.

Officially a third year student

HOWDY GANG!
It has been a while since I have shared some of my gossip so today is the night I get it on…. Ahh baby.

I have some candles around me, well two, and it has calmed me down a hell of a lot and also has motivated me. Hurrah! Let’s go.

So today I have finally got my results for my second year exams and I have passed…obviously I knew I would do..maybe… but I was actually quite scared I wouldn’t make it into the DREADED THIRD YEAR MWHHAHAHA! My results have scared me though as I definitely have to lay off the shots of tequila and actually knuckle down in order to be rolling with the 1st class club.
Other news…
I had my birthday!! No I didn’t spend my money, like will.i.am told me to, but you know what I did too much of, BLOODY DRINKING! I thought a bottle of processco would be nothing for the almighty 21 year old me, so I had it… The whole bottle. On the journey to London I managed to piss a lot of people off on the bus as I wanted people to party with me and all they wanted to do was go home bed… BORINGG, didn’t pay for my train journey as I was too gone by this point and ended up at Waterloo station being sick on the pavement, on me and then falling into my lovely, smelly sick. Fair play. To sum it all up, I would say it was unforgettable.

This is me with the dreaded proscesso:

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I then had to say bye bye to the bestest friend in the whole wide world as she goes to find some fit man in Madrid.. And also study and so well of course!

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I have now done a few shifts as a student ambassador it is pretty cool, I get to wear a hoodie, and be all gangster. I have met some really nice, new students which I hope get really drunk over freshers, but being safe of course, and had a lot of food!!!!

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Third year is starting in about two and a half weeks and I am pretty scared to say the least, but also happy to see the bunch of loons I call friends. Freshers week is hopefully going to be the norm of many sleepless nights and vomit on the streets of Kingston.

Ohh just got a special treat of a chocolate pudding delivery straight to my bed, magical… Dreams really do come true!

I also want to try my hand at a vlog, I am reaaaaaaly scared to actually upload any videos of my face as it normally looks grumpy. I have so many videos on my iPad that are just poor attempts of me trying to act smart.. Any advice or any bribes to upload these can be discussed!

Until then, laters! :)

Wanted a Ben and Jerrys ended up with a magnum….

As the sun was shinning in London yesterday I thought it was the perfect time to get a Ben and Jerrys, seeing as they are the only two fellas which give me pure satisfaction in my mouth… Of course the Ben and Jerrys was inside a subway, I mean that is normal. I’m waiting in the queue and the server is taking ages to scoop out Ice Cream, I wanted to help her, but I probably would just swim in the ice cream containers, If only that was possible. 5 minutes went by, and soon ten, and guess what? Still not getting my ice cream, so.. I waited patiently and soon I was next in the queue, result!

She then held up her fingers to show two minutes and then popped off. Firstly, I’m glad she didn’t give me ‘the two fingers’ in the other way as I would have put her head in a subway sandwich and fed it to rats, secondly, I thought she was just going to the bathroom, so I hoped she washes her hands after, or getting another colleague. But no. Next thing I see is her with her coat and bag leaving the shop, I thought it was a joke, but as soon as she got the bus, I knew that she isn’t coming back. I didn’t know what to do, so just stood their giving evils to the subway men and shouted ‘do you know what costumer service is? Well this definitely is poor.’ Clearly I am a ghost or they are deaf, better yet, they are gits, and just carried on serving 6inches to their costumers wondering why a sandwich is bigger than their own penis.

I was devastated as I left Ben and Jerry behind, but in the distance I saw the magic golden ‘M’ and instantly my tears went. Feeling on top of the world I walked into the shop and asked for a Mcflurry. ‘Sorry we have no ice cream.’ I was gonna have a break down and start shouting at her, but decided to go to the toilet and calm down. I thought this day couldn’t get worse, but the hand dryer wasn’t working so I had to shake my hands dry like some 5 year old. To top off this amazing experience a woman, who came out of nowhere, but probably came through the door obviously, just stood in front of the mirror.. Not moving, or smiling.. Quite possibly not breathing. I thought she was going to either kill me or jump through the mirror, but luckily she didn’t do anything.

I still needed a ice cream, so I had to get a magnum. I’m not saying they are crap, but I wanted a bloody Ben and Jerrys.

All over a stupid ice cream.
The end.

My time working in a ticket office

Snot-nosed costumers, angry costumers and costumers who are too fascinated by boats, I have met a lot of people, some I don’t wanna meet again, whilst being in my new job. Although I just smile whilst they shout all sorts of abuse at me and kill their rant with some Capital FM, I still enjoy it a lot.

I don’t make a lot of friends as you can see, apart from two. A sweet man, Brian, who shouts ‘Do you wanna be a sailor?’ At every person walking past to boost his sales on his boat tour and making cups of tea which most goes on the floor, doesn’t help that the kettle is broke. He is a joy to be around and was interested in the music I was listening and the book I was reading, even though it was fifty shades if grey. Another, who is an artist called Kaya, who often walks up and down whilst painting the same picture at the weekends. He has admitted to me half the time he is just pretending to paint, which I thought anyways. I think he is a friend for life as he has offered to paint a portrait of me. I think I’ll give him a picture of me that he can copy from as I don’t wanna be left alone with him really and basically I’m not good at keeping still for a long time.
Above all, without these two I probably wouldn’t survive.

I have learnt so much about the water and the tides, and trust me there is a lot to learn and it is quite complicated, although it’s just h2o. When the tides are low, it means boats will be late, which means I get angry costumers at my door. It doesn’t help that the tides change everyday. But all in all I definitely am good at pretending to be an expert of the water and a boat lover. Great success!

With the odd one or two costumers hyping I normally can be found jamming outside with my tunes blaring with the rest of the costumers talking about how amazing Zac Efron is and about Eastenders.

For now it’s a farewell to the green hut for nine days whilst I dream about boats..

I’ll let you put it anywhere, Zac.

A BIG HELLO, EVERYONE!

Firstly, I revamped the blog. I thought it needed a little sprinkle of paint, literally. That is why the header looks like it has been done by a 5 year old coz I used paint. Anyways, so by the title, you have guessed that this blog will be about my true love and only man I have ever loved called Zac Efron. I dunno if you know him, but he’s pretty well known, and to put it in other words, he is a walking and talking perfection human and I have touch his hand!

I went to see his new film Neighbours. It really made me happy that I was going to see Zac on the big screen, but also that the film came out before being released in the USA, I really do love it when Britain wins over the US, because it doesn’t happen often. Anyways, he does get half naked, which is why I went in the first place. Tbh, the film is okay’ish’, if it wasn’ t for Zac Efron keeping me awake with his amazing abs, I reckon I would have fallen asleep. Oh, he does make a dildo mould out of his penis as well, obviously just in the movie, not just randomly in his free time.

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Look at him, come on!

I went to see McBusted as well and it was just amazing. I mean I was in the same room as my first crush, Matt from Busted. I literally cried when they broke up, enough for me to get the day off school. It was a horrible day. They played more Busted songs so I was very happy as I don’t really like McFly as I think people forgot about Busted when they came around and that made me sad. Hey ho, it still was an amazing show and I even have a wristband to be remind me of the night my dreams came true.

I have now finished my 2nd year at Kingston, it has been a struggle, but I actually have done it. This year has been really good and I have met some incredible people and had such a good laugh, so sometimes you do have to be persistent to see an improvement. Oh I am not a tutor anymore (if I didn’t tell you already) and I now work at the University as a student caller and an ambassador. It is so cool, I get paid to talk about crap and get money of people and I wonder why I have had tonsillitis many times since I started.

For now, I am watching people (boys and full grown men) get so involved in Fifa 2014. They keep shouting everytime they pass or given a free kick because of a foul. I will never understand boys and their toys.

Anyways, for now I am counting down the hours to the Eurovision and praying we will get at least 10 points.. as everyone hates us, I doubt that will happen. Nil point for us.

R U Crazy that you are in HOUNSLOW – Conor Maynard in my local area.

It was a Thursday evening and I was a little early for work so decided to hit the shops in Hounslow. It is a shame that I do work in Hounslow, but it has a new look so I decided to pay it a visit.

I was walking around the stores getting flustered with all the amazing clothes on sale plus they were in season too which made me so happy! I couldn’t stop buying more and more things. When the moment went I did put some back as I did kinda have the whole of the stock in my hand after doing a full circle of the sales.

I began to walk over to the shoes and I see this figure by the mirror checking himself out, I was thinking what a douche, but didn’t really think anything of it. I looked up to give this person that look that says ‘stop flattering yourself, hunny’ and then I stopped half way as something about this guy looks familiar. I did stare at him for a couple of seconds before I realize it was that singer of television who is kinda known as the ‘Justin Bieber wannabe’  – Conor Maynard.

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To be honest his hair looked better on Thursday

Although I am 20 years old I still couldn’t help but giggle. I then started shaking knowing that I am a couple of meters away from thousands of pounds, this is what money does to me. I did observe him for a while as I hid behind a row of high-heels. I noticed he was looking round the shop a lot, probably seeing if anyone actually noticed him, which was unlikely as most of the women were either older or preoccupied with shoes.

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This is how I gave him ‘the eye’

He was with some girl, who was around 17. She decided to pick a jacket which would draw attention to her the most – a leopard print one. She was very short, so I thought the choice was not a good one, but it did match her brown hair. She did refer to Conor as ‘babe’ so I reckon she was either a close close friend of his girlfriend, I am going to say the latter. I mean I did search on websites after I saw him just to see who she was, but she wasn’t to be seen. So I reckon this is an up and coming romance or some fan girl blackmailing him for sending naked snaps, just for the coat. I mean to be honest, it is NEW LOOK, so the coat’s price is pennies to him, so why didn’t she take the initiative and go to CHANEL. That’s exactly what I would do.

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This was similar to the coat she was trying on

Anyways I broke the silence to the cashier and he was as excited as I was, he couldn’t help looking over and stumbling over his words. As there was a queue building up I did have to tear him back to reality and show him the group of people getting annoyed behind me. As I did leave the store there were many questions that did arise to me, but one I can’t stop thinking about: “Why hounslow?”

Talk with Sir Trev: “People like us, we need light!”

So on the 3rd October Kingston University students had the privilege of meeting the one and only, Sir Trevor McDonald.

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Trevor on the famous news at 10

The excitement kicked off once 6:30pm came around, but ten minutes later he was still nowhere to be seen. Was he okay?

It got to 6:50 and he entered the building. I do not think anyone cared that he was late as long as we got to see a bit of terrific Trev! After arriving ‘fashionably late’ and blaming it on ‘Kingston traffic’ he then started with the talk.

He started by telling us about his very ‘normal’ day, he had a meeting at Buckingham Palace, but NOT on any royal business. The way he just casually said it was like yeah sure, because that happens everyday for us. Not. I can imagine that the queen must love him though and they probably walk around the grounds with her corgis, what a lovely date. Sorry Phillip! ;)

Everyone was at the edge of their seats throughout the hour and a half talk; everyone was hanging on his last words and waiting for the next story to come our way. I mean he talked about meeting Saddam Hussein, George W. Bush (Trev hated his views, but thought he was the most ‘classiest guys’, although his brilliant idea was to go to war. But that’s obviously a touchy subject..) and the amazing Morgan Freeman, I think that was my favourite name drop.

When meeting Morgan Freeman, Freeman wanted the lights a little lower to the point where it was very dark. Sir Trevor said: “But people like us, we need light.” There was a roar of laughter in the hall and it still gets me now. Quote of the night for sure!

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Morgan looking dench

Of course for me being a journalism student, his words of wisdom will stay with me for a long while. He kept saying ‘Being there is better than reading about it.’ – which of course is very simple. “Try and embrace as much as you can. I mean travel; get out there!” Although being a student means you have no money, but still we can dream of the wider world and maybe travelling there one day..

One story which was very funny, but also strange to think how things have changed was about his journey to China. If you didn’t know, in China, people didn’t let strangers in their houses. So Trevor thought this was quite ‘peculiar’ so he said this to his crew. The lady did agree for them to come into their home and film. When they went there the lady gave them some slippers and Trevor of course gave the crew a look that said ‘see I told you.’ But the lady then explained that she got these as she knew Trevor and his team had no time to get these even though it would be respectful, so she got them to save embarrassment. So Trevor got it all wrong… don’t worry we all do it sometimes, obviously journalists do!

The other key moment of the talk was when he went to Iraq to talk to the president, Saddam Hussein. Sir Trev didn’t like the fact that he was sharing the room with several other people and it wasn’t really ‘intimate.’ He did complain and one of Hussein’s personnel said that they are never allowed in the same room as him so you (Trevor) should feel privilege. He never answers questions or made to answer them. No-one interviews him.’ He went on to say that some of his security men were nasty to him and made him give his ring, watch and pen to them. He laughed it off by saying in return they gave him one of ‘Saddam Hussein’s election pen,’ but he politely declined..

When meeting Mandela he thought he could give him a good headline for the Daily Mail, seeing as he was falsely prisoned for 26 years, but he had never seen anyone merged so mentally unharmed. Mandela said the reason was ‘once negotiated, everything is possible.’

Sir Trevor indeed ‘strutted his stuff that night’ a phrase which he loved using and told us to indeed do the same. ‘Don’t let people find their limits in your dream, if you want something bad you will work enough. The people who say you can’t do something are the people that you don’t trust.”

When asked what event was the most inspiring he responded “Never would I thought that I would be standing in a crowd in 2009 where a black man becomes president.”

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Bring a tear to my eye 4 years on :’)

On that note, we can definitely say that change has definitely come and will keep on coming.

 

Me & U-ni. *week two*

So I am currently sitting in the library at university whilst eyeing up the food… and being between two minds to buy something or not. For now I am currently writing this on an empty and rumbling stomach.

This week has been a mixed of emotions. I mean I definitley feel like a student now as the workload is coming apprarant and also I have been here enough in the last two weeks to call this my second home.

It all started on the Monday. I stayed after school to do some reading and it literally made my head hurt. I was all packed and ready to go to netball club, but unfortunatley I didn’t as I had no clue where it was and the person who said would meet me, didn’t. So feeling very boid I went back to the library for a final bedtime reading.

Tuesday was non-exsistent as I did not go in as it was an 9am and that for me means sleeply time. Day consisted of doing nothing really. So I had that day and Wednesday, as that is my day off, to chill even more.

I returned freshly faced on Thursday and this was going to be the best day at University. I saw loads of people I knew and I started to feel more at home here. Yeah the lectures were boring but the only thing getting me through them was knowing that at 6.30 I will be meeting the legend SIR TREVOR MCDONALD. Whoever doesn’t know him (if you are international fair enough) especially if your ENGLISH then seriously, you are not british. The place was rammed and I had nerves and got all giggly like a fan girl. I will hopefully create a blog post soon dedicated to this talk, it is definitley worth it.

Today is the last day of the week and I am super super happy about this. Yes, I am STILL in the library and it is annoying, but I wanna get as much of my work done as possible. Friday is dedicated to Multi-media project and today I learned who I was with. I’m working with two girls and a boy. It’s a good team and I think we will work together well. I put myself up as editor as I have always wanted to be this role and I got it, there wasn’t much fight for it tbh, so I got it hands down.

For now it is time to probably get something from the canteen, sandwich would be perfect…